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Self Improvement from SelfGrowth.com– – SelfGrowth.com is the most complete guide to information about Self Improvement on the Internet.

 

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Aah stress, our favourite thing in the world!

 

Stress can ruin people. It plays a significant factor in a causing a lot of illnesses and generally lowers our quality of life.

 

I was letting stress get to me too: in my field we have a lot of work to do by tight deadlines – a recipe for stress. As a result I was always worried or nervous about not being able to get stuff done or in time; it got to a point where you could never not think about work and how on earth I was meant to finish the tasks that I was assigned.

 

I knew something had to change, so I spent some time actively working to reduce my stress levels.

 

I’m not going to go into detail about specific techniques like being organised or getting a good night’s sleep, because they’re everywhere. Check this and this out for two great articles on it.

 

Instead, I’m going to focus on the mentality aspect to how you perceive and think about stress.

 

First off:

 

Stress is a perception of our emotions

 

To me, stress is similar to fear and excitement – it is a feeling we get when we are faced with performing or dealing with a set of events.

 

Now, the beauty about emotions is that they are all perceived; studies have shown that excitement and fear actually elicit a very similar response in us – the only difference being that we decide to associate the feeling as either as either fear or. This is why some people are buzzing about public speaking whilst other people brick themselves

 

I have found that stress is similar; what’s stressful for me might be exciting to another person.  With practice, we can learn to choose how to perceive the event.

 

When I’m faced with a stressful set of events at work, I now try to think about it in 1 of 2 main ways

 

1. A challenge

 

Life is challenging you, not stressing you: it’s giving you a test to see what you are capable of; can you finish x, y, and z by the end of the week? That’s your task, and as soon as you start to perceive it as a challenge instead of stress you start to analyse it and try and break it down in order to tackle it, instead of being completely overwhelmed by it.

 

2. A non-threatening life event

 

So let’s imagine your boss gives you a stupid amount of work to do in not enough time by a deadline – what’s the worst thing that can happen? You get yelled at, the company looks bad and it’s your fault, or some other thing that is not particularly good happens… but are you going to die? Nope.

 

Sure you can try and do the best job possible, but unless you’re in a real threat because of it is there a reason to panic or feel stressed?

 

These two thoughts have helped me look at work from a much calmer perspective; either as something exciting and challenging, or something that’s not going to kill me if I don’t achieve what I’m meant to.

 

I hope this helps!

 

-Mike

 

Like, comment, share, and ask me anything at mike@invinciblementality.com

I have probably mentioned this before, but it needs another mention:

 

“Walking a marathon is better than sprinting half way”

– Michael Tawiah

 

Yes, I put my own quote in here because I honestly believe it has so much importance.

 

It does not matter how fast you’re working to your goal if you’re not going to reach it. However, our want to see instant results encourages us to give it too much too soon.

 

The issue with going all in straight away is that it is powered by motivation –  a limited source.

 

This motivation temporarily boosts our willpower to commit 100% for a while, then soon quickly fades; we do have days when we don’t want to do anything, or we get distracted with other things etc – it is these days when people tend to give up.

 

Going in 100% all the time is also such a huge time commitment and a huge sacrifice. As a result, you slowly start to regret the thing which you are meant to be enjoying – we do not want this.

 

Instead, what I propose is the opposite: start off doing something so ridiculously easy that it will actually be shameful to not do it each day.

 

As I mention in my book ‘The Ultimate Guide To Getting Lean‘, if your goal is to try and lose weight, start by eating 1 less bite of 1 meal… that’s it.

 

Results are a result of effort applied consistently, and not maximum effort in one.

 

At first, your results may not be considerate, however, you will have built up that routine and discipline which will now be able to pull you through those days when your motivation is down.

 

The best part about taking it slow is you ending up falling in love with the process; instead of resenting the amount of time it is taking out of your life you start to fall in love with the progression.

 

It will get to a point where providing  the motivation, ambition, and discipline will be effortless.

 

If you are truly serious about achieving your long term goals I encourage you to not try too hard at the start – ironically that is what tends to make you fail.

 

Instead, do this:

 

Set yourself a daily goal which is so simple and ridiculously easy to do.

 

For me and InvincibleMentality, my daily is goal is to write part of an article a day… not even a whole article, just part –  I have a lot going on in my life, and setting the goal to write a whole article every day is often too much; it leads to me just not writing at all.

 

As long as you keep on making that step each day in the right direction, no matter how small, you are on the path to success.

 

-Mike

 

Comment, share, and ask me absolutely anything at mike@invinciblementality.com

So I just got dinner for 2 homeless men today… and I’m going to tell you about it – and no, it’s not a tale about how amazing and kind and good willed they are, nor is it how they’re full on flat alcoholics…

 

So let’s begin.

 

I came out of the office late around 10pm, and this guy came up to me and asked if I could spare then a few pennies so they could get some food. I was going to Tesco anyway so I told them to come along and I’ll get them something.

 

There were 2 guys; one was very quiet and reserved, whilst the other was quite talkative – his breath smelt of alcohol… That probably explains it.

 

Anyway, I talked to them on the way to Tesco and asked how they got in their position – the talkative one explained how 8 years ago he had enough of his relationship issues, along with a ‘slight’ drinking problem, and decided to get on a train out of Essex into London. He found out he couldn’t get a place to stay in London as he is a resident of Essex. When I asked him why he didn’t move back he said it brought back bad memories – fair enough, but if you’re homeless surely a house is better than nothing? Meh, lets carry on.

 

As I was getting food the talkative one stressed to get food for the other guy – this guy he didn’t smoke or drink. He told me he’d rather have alcohol or cigarettes than food – obviously I told him I wasn’t going to do that, but it made me sad so so deep inside…

 

When I was buying the food, the quiet came up to me to make sure I wasn’t buying too much – he seemed quite ashamed of his position and the fact he was where he is now and was therefore really conservative and quiet.

 

I bought both guys a sandwich, and the quiet guy a drink. They were both extremely thankful. Somehow the talkative guy ended up with a small bottle of wine in his hand, so I ended up asking him why he still drinks and smokes, as personally I really struggle to try and help homeless guys out when I know a proportion probably going to be spent on alcohol and drugs.

 

His response was probably the most depressing yet heart warming thing that I’ve ever heard… This is what he said:

 

“Well, I just am an alcoholic, but if you don’t mind I’m going to walk across the street and give this sandwich to that homeless man across the road who hasn’t eaten in days.”

 

Damn.

 

I didn’t really know what to say to that, and I simply wished them all the best and parted ways.

 

I learnt 3 lessons from this:

1) Some people don’t want to be helped.

 

The alcoholic knew if he stopped drinking he’d probably have a higher chance of progressing in life, and if he really wanted to get things back on track he would have moved back to Essex where he has a higher chance of gaining accommodation – he didn’t. Instead he has remained a homeless alcoholic for 8 years, and he seemed like he has become okay with being in that position: he said a doctor told him he has 3 months to live, and without alcohol 2 – obviously it’s probably not true, but I won’t be surprised if that is the last time I’ll ever see him again.

 

2) Not every homeless person caused themselves to be homeless.

 

Not everyone has a safety plan – the worst case scenario for me is that I cry back to mummy and daddy. Some people have nothing.

 

Unfortunately I didn’t get to hear the story of the other homeless guy, but I imagine it was more to do with a series of unfortunate events rather than a decision – those are the sort of people we should be helping; it’s just a shame that at face value it is hard to tell who’s going to use your help for good or bad.

 

3) Homeless people are still people

 

Speaking to these two men again made me realise that being homeless does not define you; you define you – let me explain:

 

There are alcoholics who live in houses, and humble people too. You have doctors who’s life is in pieces yet they still care so deeply for others. There are dicks who will manipulate you, and others who are respectful and kind.

 

A variety of personalities exist at all different levels in life, so please do not judge people at face value.

 

-Mike

 

Like, comment, share, and ask me anything at mike@invinciblementality.com